= The POEE Baptismal Rite =

This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.

1) The Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the Initiate in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or something.

2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of we Erisians.

3) The Priest begins:

I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees, designations, offices, etc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:
      1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING? The Initiate answers YES.
      2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The Initiate answers YES.
      3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY ILLUMINIZED? He answers YES.
      4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN MOVEMENT? The Initiate answers PROBABLY.

_______________________
THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH

The Initiate swears the following:
FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!

(Brothers of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish to substitute the German:
FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE!
or perhaps
WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!!
which is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)

Corrections to last week's copy: Johnny Sample is
offensive cornerback for the New York Jets, not fullback
as stated. Bobby Tolan's name is not Randy, but mud. All
power to the people, and ban the fucking bomb.

The Discordian Society has no definition.

I sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has been called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor, Director of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in Larchmont, prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-it-is-that-we-are." Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK TANK. Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any way you like.

AN EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total autonomy, and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs him. He speaks for himself and for those that say that they like what he says.

THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD: A Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his own sect.

If you want in on the Discordian Society
then declare yourself what you wish
do what you like
and tell us about it
or if you prefer
don't.

There are no rules anywhere.
The Goddess Prevails.

When I get to the bottom I go back to the top
of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go
for a ride, then I get to the bottom and I see
you again! Helter skelter!
                -John Lennon

THE GOLDEN APPLE CORPS

The Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of The Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names.

It says little,
does less,
means
nothing.

               
* Not to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers. We thought of it first.